Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
