Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize