anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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