Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
