I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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