So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
