You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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