I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
