If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
