Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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