If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
