Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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