True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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