Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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