I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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