this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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