You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
