i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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