Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
