WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
