you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
