Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
