Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
