I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
