what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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