Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
