so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Randomize
