Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
