i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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