i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
