the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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