I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize