Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
