Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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