So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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