Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A bitchslap is in order.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
