Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
nutella sex= disaster
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
