I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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