hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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