He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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