just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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