He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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