Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
