im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think people are normalizing furries
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