you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize