Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize