he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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