Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
