my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm like, not good at living.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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