all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
