I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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