we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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