you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
