You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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