I faked an abortion last night.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
