I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize