I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
