I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
