I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
