he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
