You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
