She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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