I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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